Subject: ARRANGED MARRIAGES. Finding a partner

From: [email-masked]
Date: 12 Aug 90 17:24:48 GMT

The article titled "Exploiting an Unjust Advantage: Arranged Marriages & 
Educated Indians" by <[email-masked] (Subbarao Kambhampati)> was 
well written, in my opinion. 

I do think that so called 'well educated' or 'professinal' Indians still
subscribe to this pratice of an arranged marriage because of many of the
reasons pointed out. I thought that maybe there was another reason. How many
Indians (or Indian students) really get to know a person from the opposite
sex well enough to decide mutually on his/her marriage ? Many among us direct
all or most of our mental resources towards a 'professional' career, that
we do not devote enough time for an active social life. There is latent 
discouragement for such activity in Indian society. Could it be because, 
illicit sex is presumed to be part of such association ? I have no idea. 

Arranged marriages are scary to me, because, I believe they rely on the concept
that one (the woman) has to change and become compatible to the man. I think 
that's reprehensible and it scares me because I can't envision having a
person change herself for my sake. You can argue that the male changes too, 
but I didn't find this trait in any Indian males, a generation before mine.  
If it does happen, that both the male and the female change to accomodate to 
the other, I guess, the evil in arranged marriages is considerably reduced. It
also scares me because, the person is a total stranger (for all practical
purposes). She might not be an ax-murderess, but, someone whose thought 
processes are diametrically opposed. Of course, the same holds good for the 
female..

		-Asad
		[[email-masked]]