Monty Python and ignoring domain knowledge in learning...

[Subbarao Kambhampati <rao@asu.edu>]

For some reason I remembered the following Montypython sketch while
talking about the dubiousness of not exploiting readily available domain
knowledge in learning... 

The background for this sketch is that for whatever reason, the judge,
the jury and the lawyers in the criminal court decide to communicate with
charades.. you know the game where you mime and people try to guess the
word/phrase/sentence you are trying to say. See if you see the connection
I see..  (It would be much nicer if you can see the
sketch...)

I know you didn't quite expect this... (but then again, nobody expects
spanish inquisition..
Their chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and
surprise.... their two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless
efficiency.... their three weapons are fear, surprise, and
ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope....
Their four...no... amongst their weapons.... amongst their
weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise....  ;-)


Rao
=========

http://www.ibras.dk/montypython/episode15.htm#9

SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'CENTRAL CRIMINAL COURT' 
Judge Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a verdict? 
Foreman We have m'lud. 
Judge And how do you find the defendant? (the foreman puts his hand
out with two fingers extended) Two words. (the foreman nods and
holds up one finger) First word. (the foreman mimes taking a piece
of string and tying it in knot) Rope? String? 
The foreman shakes his head and points to the knot. 
Counsel Point? 
Clerk Belt? 
Judge Tie? 
The foreman nods and points to the knot. 
Counsel Cravat? Silk square? 
Clerk Knot? 
The foreman nods enthusiasticaly. 
All Knot! 
The foreman gives a thumbs up and points to his second finger.
Judge Second word. (foreman indicates two syllables) Two
syllables. (the foreman points to his first finger) First
syllable. (the foreman starts to mime a fish while pointing at his
throat) Bird? 
Clerk Swimmer? 
Judge Breast stroke. 
Counsel Brian Phelps. 
Judge No, no, no, he was a diver. 
Clerk Esther Williams then. 
Judge No, no, don't be silly. How can you find someone 'Not Esther
Williams'. 
Counsel Fish. (the foreman nods and points at throat) Fish wheeze.
Fish wheeze? 
Judge Fish breathe. 
Counsel Fish breathe, throat. 
Judge Fish breathe, throat? GILL! (the foreman gives a thumbs up and
the court applauds excitedly) Not gill. (the foreman mimes the
second syllable) Second syllable. Not gill. 
Foreman mimes drinking a cup of tea. 
Counsel Drink. 
Clerk Sip? Imbibe? 
The foreman points to the mimed cup itself. 
Judge Not gill ... cup? Not gillcup! (the foreman looks
disappointed) You have been found not gillcup of the charges brought
against you and may leave this court a free man. Right. My turn. (the
defendant leaves.) 
The judge holds up four fingers. 
Counsel Four words. 
The judge mimes shouting for the first word. 
Foreman First word shout? 
Counsel Bellow? 
Clerk Call? 
All Call! 
The judge gives a thumbs up and indicates that the second word is very
small. 
Counsel Second word is very small. 
Foreman A? 
Counsel An? 
Clerk Up? 
Foreman The? 
The judge gives a thumbs up. 
All The! 
Clerk Call the, third word: 
The judge points to his neck. 
Counsel Gill? 
Member of Jury Fish? 
Clerk Adam's apple. (the judge shakes his head) Neck. (the
judge mime 'sounds like') Sounds like neck? 
Second Counsel Next. 
Foreman Call the ... next! 
The judge gives a thumbs up and indicates that the fourth word is
three Syllables. First syllable: he mimes deafness. 
Clerk Fourth word, three syllables. First syllable ... ear? 
Counsel Hear. Can't hear. 
Clerk Deaf!! Call the next def-. 
The judge leaps onto the desk and points at his own bottom. 
Counsel Bottom. 
Clerk Seat? Trouser? Cheek? 
Foreman End! Call the next defend-. 
The judge leaps down, disappears under the desk and appears with an
enormous model of an ant about four feet long. 
Whole Court Ant! 
Clerk Call the next defendant! (the court applauds the judge who bows
and sits; the whole mood changes) Call the next defendant. The
Honourable Mr Justice Kilbraken. (a very elderly judge in full robes
comes into the dock) If I may charge you m'lud, you are charged m'lud
that on the fourteenth day of June 1970, at the Central Criminal Court,
you did commit acts likely to cause a breach of the peace. How plead you
m'lud, guilty or not guilty? 
Judge Kilbraken Not guilty. Case not proven. Court adjourned. 
He hits the dock. Everyone gets up and starts walking out talking to
each other. 
Judge No, no, no, no, no, no, no. (they all stop, go back and sit down
again) No, you're in the dock, m'lud. 
Judge Kilbraken I'm a judge, m'lud. 
Judge So am I, m'lud, so watch it. 
Judge Kilbraken Hah! Call this a court. 
All Call this a court. Call this a court..Call this a court. 
Judge Shut up. Right now get on with the spiel. 
Counsel M'lud, and my other lud, the prosecution will endeavour to show
m'lud, that m'lud - ah, not you m'lud, that m'lud, m'lud, while passing
sentence at the Central Criminal Court blotted his copy book. Call
exhibit Q. 
Judge Q? 
Counsel Sorry did I say Q? I meant A. Sorry, call exhibit A. 
Clerk Call exhibit A. 
Two court ushers carry in a thing with a sheet over it. They pull off
the sheet to reveal a very sexy girl in a provocative pose. 
Counsel Exhibit A m'lud, Miss Rita Thang, an artist's model, Swedish
accordion teacher and cane-chair sales lady, was found guilty under the
Rude Behaviour Act in the accused's court. The accused, m'lud, sentenced
her to be taken from this place and brought round to his place. 
Second Counsel Objection, m'lud. 
Judge Kilbraken Objection sustained. 
Judge You shut up! Objection overruled. 
Counsel The accused then commented on Miss Thang's bodily structure, made
several not-at-all legal remarks on the subject of fun and then placed
his robes over his head and began to emit low moans. 
Judge Have you anything to say in your defense? 
Judge Kilbraken I haven't had any for weeks. 
Judge Oh no? What about that little number you've got tucked away in
Belsize Park? 
Judge Kilbraken Oh, I never! 
Judge Oh no. Ho! Ho! Ho! 
Judge Kilbraken All right then what about 8a Woodford Square? 
Judge You say anything about that and I'll do you for treason. 
Counsel M'lud if we could continue ... 
Judge Kilbraken He's got a Chinese bit there. 
Judge No, that's contempt of court. 
Judge Kilbraken It was only a joke. 
Judge Contempt of court. However, I'm not going to punish you, because
we're so short of judges at the moment, what with all of them emigrating
to South Africa. I'm going tomorrow; I've got my ticket. Get out there
and get some decent sentencing done. Ooh, England makes you sick. Best I
can manage here is life imprisonment. It's hardly worth coming in in the
morning. Now, South Africa? You've got your cat of nine tails, you've got
four death sentences a week, you've got cheap drinks, slave labour and a
booming stock market. I'm off, I tell you. Yes, I'm up to here with
probation and bleeding psychiatric reports. That's it, I'm off. That's
it. Right. But I'm going to have one final fling before I leave, so I
sentence you to be burnt at the stake. 
Judge Kilbraken Blimey! I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. 
Court reacts expectantly. Cut to suburban house. The three members of
the Spanish Inquisition suddenly belt out of the door and down the path.
Dick Barton music. Cut to them leaping onto a bus. 
Ximinez Two, er, three to the Old Bailey please. 
Credits start superimposed. 
Biggles Look they've started the credits. 
Ximinez Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. 
Biggles Come on hurry. Hurry! 
We see shots of them coming through London. 
Ximinez There's the lighting credit, only five left. (more shots of
the bus going through London; the credits reach the producer) Hell,
it's the producer - quick! 
They leap off the bus into the Old Bailey. Cut to court room. They
burst in. 
Ximinez Nobody expects the Spa... ('The End' appears) Oh bugger!

====================